What I Shared (and Felt) at The ONE National Conference
Two weeks before my first partnership interview, I ended up in a hospital.
I was 34. I had a plan. I had tunnel vision. And I had my first major mental health episode. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and everything changed—quickly, painfully, and with no roadmap.
When I walked onto that stage at The ONE National Conference, I wasn’t there to impress anyone. I was there because I know how hard it is to say, "I'm not okay," in this profession. Especially when you're the one people think is okay.
This wasn’t a keynote. It was a conversation. A moment to stop performing and just be honest about what it's like to break down, come back, and still want to lead.
What No One Prepares You For
Working at a Big Four firm fed every part of my drive. I loved the pressure. The adrenaline. The dopamine hit from a new email notification. I wore the long hours like a badge of honour. Until I couldn’t anymore.
I didn’t know how to disconnect. I didn’t know how to say no. And I didn’t realize that the culture I was thriving in was also the one pulling me under.
After my diagnosis, I took a three-month leave. In hindsight, I probably needed a year. But in the world I came from, that felt like career suicide.
What hit hardest wasn’t just the stigma out there—it was the shame I felt inside. The way I questioned whether I still belonged. Whether I was still "partner material."
That shame doesn’t go away just because you return to work. In some ways, it gets heavier when you do.
“You Can’t Heal in a Culture That Keeps Rewarding the Breakdown”
What Helped (Eventually)
The second time I returned to work, my boss did something different: he got support not just for me, but for the team. He brought in a psychologist to speak to my colleagues about what I was going through, what they might expect, and how they could support.
That changed everything. Because mental illness doesn’t just affect the person going through it. It affects everyone around them.
I also learned to set boundaries in small, practical ways. I tiered my communications:
Emails? You might hear back in 2–3 days.
Texts? Give me a day.
Phone calls? If you call twice, I’ll assume it’s urgent.
It gave me some breathing room. And it helped me rebuild a sense of agency—on my own terms.
What the Audience Taught Me
After the panel, a few people came up to talk. But they didn’t ask questions. They shared confessions:
"I’ve been hiding how I feel. But I want to stop."
"I didn’t know you could have bipolar and still be this confident."
"I didn’t think I could talk about this in a space like this."
Those were the moments that stayed with me. Because that’s what this is about. Not being the expert in the room. Just being a person in the room, showing up fully.
So Where Do We Go From Here?
The ONE Conference gave me hope. Not just because I got to speak, but because of the way people listened. The nods. The quiet. The willingness to go there.
As CPAs, we know how to chase goals. We know how to hit deadlines. But we don’t always know how to pause. How to reflect. How to admit when the systems we’re in are hurting us?
We need more space for these conversations. More moments of courage. And more compassion—especially when we don’t know what to say.
Feel Free to Reach Out
If you’re creating a space where lived experience and honest conversation are welcome, I’d love to hear more.
Whether it’s a conference, a school, a team session, or a panel—feel free to check out my [speaker media kit] or just send a note. Always open to building something meaningful together.
This post reflects Shak’s personal experience and is meant to inspire, not prescribe. Everyone’s mental health journey is different. Take what resonates, and leave the rest.
Crystal Ball Reflection
You can be the strongest person in the room and still need help.
You can lead with vision and still live with vulnerability.
You can step back and still come back stronger.
And if any of that feels true for you, I hope you give yourself the time, space, and support to stay in the game—in a way that doesn’t cost you your health.
With empathy,
Shak
Feel free to check out more blog posts or follow along on Instagram for lived insights, tools, and support.
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Shak is pursuing his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology (MACP) and will start his practicum in January. He's involved with the Canadian Mental Health Association and he's working on turning his blog, Bipolar Empath, into a book while managing his accounting business.
Stay tuned for more updates on Shak’s journey and the impact he continues to make in the mental health community!
